even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
