i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
