I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
