Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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