Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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