can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
