Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
