The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
