you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There r osticjed everywhere
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
