When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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