I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
