What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
