her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
