3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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