what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
