All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
