Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
