im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
