I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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