You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize