just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
