whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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