Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
