i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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