she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
