1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
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Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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