the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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