Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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