doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize