I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
