Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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