Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
