Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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