3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
