my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
