Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
