Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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