Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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