I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
