with your own penis?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize