You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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