Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
my poor anus
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
