Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
