I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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