Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
