He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
