I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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