I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
