she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
