Your tits are I can't wait for
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
