i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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