do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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