I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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