i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
