Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
