I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
