yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
