evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
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