I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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