Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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