my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i now understand why vodka
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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